Mary Kinser Hall

Saint Mary K

1916-1993

Mother found joy in simple things like flowers and beautiful meadows. Many years ago, when Susan and I took Mother to the mountains, the rhododendron and mountain laurel were blooming. As we drove along Mother would exclaim "Gorgeous!!! Just gorgeous!!!" Ever since then, we all said "gorgeous" when we saw something beautiful.

During the blizzard in march of 1993, Mother was amazed and awed at the snow and then the daffodils bloomed and she was equally awed. I thought it was just natures gift for her to see.

When I was first in junior high, I knew no one and would come home crying because I was lonely. Most of the people in my class had gone to another elementary school and knew each other and did not include me. Mother asked me what the worst time was and I said that it was lunchtime. She said, "You are not the only lonely person. There are others that are alone. Tomorrow I want you to look around the lunchroom and see if you see other people eating by themselves. I want you to go to them and ask if you can join them." Well, I did find someone and the person was overjoyed. The next day we met and found someone else that was alone. The lessons that I learned from that experience have stayed with me all my life. I know that I am not alone. I know that others have the same kinds of problems and I know that a problem shared is divided and sometimes disappears. Finally, I know that it is important to reach out as well as reach in.

Mother had extraordinary patience. In high school, many times we would have club meetings called during announcements at the end of the day. Since mother picked us up after school, she was invariably parked out front already. I would run outside to tell her and she would just smile that smile and say "go ahead. I'll wait." She was always that way. I appreciated it so much. I have tried very hard to be that way too.

Mother had a wonderful sense of humor. She was able to laugh her way through many things from the ridiculous to the sublime. She sang or laughed her way through her joys and her sorrows. When we were children, mother would have all of us help with the housework, singing all the time, "Mama has an army all her own." It made the work go faster. On other occasions, when we would play bridge and overbid a hand, mother would call it a "giggle hand." Mother always laughed at her mistakes and tried to help ease your pain when you made one.

Mother was parish visitor for St. John's Episcopal Church in Tampa in the early years of her life and the last 15 years of her life. she visited the sick, the shut-in, those in nursing homes, and all of the people who came through the doors of the church and signed the visitors book. She went into poor homes and rich homes, visited black as well as white families, comforted both straight and gay families. Her God was not narrow. She really loved people.

As some may know, one of her sons is a Jehovah Witness. He believes that 700,000 or so will be raised in the last days to rule the earth. Malcolm recently said that he wanted Mother to be buried with her glasses on. I asked why. He said that he thought that Mother might be one of the ones to be raised to rule the earth in the last days and he wanted her to be able to see. I said "But she is not Jehovah Witness."He said that they would come from many faiths. When I told Mother she smiled, with tear filled eyes, and said, "That was quite a concession on his part."

Mother loved Pippa Passes. It is the story of a little girl who skipped along a path and sang her song, part of which was "God's in his heaven, all's right with the world." As the little girl skipped along, she passed many people inspiring them with joy or hope or faith. One doesn't have to look far to discover that Mother tried to live her life like that little girl. She has loved and accepted each of us as we were. She has been my very best friend. She saw the beauty in everyone. She supported not only her family, and her friends but also anyone requiring help. She was a great listener.

Recently, when one of mother's dear friend's husband died, she insisted on dictating a note to the friend. She said that people don't realize how much it means to receive a note and how important it is to share love of others.

Mother inspired her doctors, nurses and care givers. People that knew her only for a few weeks were visibly touched by her deep and abiding faith. When you met Mother, you were affected by her faith, joy and peace. You felt good about life, and knew that somehow everything would work out all right.

Early Saturday morning, April 3, when Ginny and I woke her to give her medicine, it was apparent that she had had yet another stroke and it had sapped her strength. We had to lift her to attend to her needs. She said, "If it's going to be like this, I may as well go. I don't want to put you through all this." We put her in bed and hugged and kissed her. She died several hours later. Faithful to the end, she loved us enough to let go.

She's gone home now, probably praying for all of us.

That would be just like her.

Smilin' Through....